Mr Garvey Teaches at Hogwarts
by MiDniGhtW0lF15
Summary: Snape is out for the day and the students at Hogwarts needs a Substitute teacher. Enter Mr. Garvey. A parody of Key and Peele's skit


**This was in my head the other day when I was watching Key and Peele and I wondered how cool it would be if was in Harry Potter. I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER OR KEY AND PEELE! also if any of you guys are interested in doing one like this, go on ahead. I would love to see what you guys come up with. Now Let's get on with it!**

It was just an ordinary day at Hogwarts when Harry and the gang were in potions class.

Well, at least that's what they thought anyways. It started normal until they realized that Professor Snape wasn't at his desk like he usually was.

"Hey, I wonder where Professor Snape is?" Hermione told the guys

"Maybe he's not coming, wouldn't that be awesome Harry. A whole day without Snape."

"That's Professor Snape Ronald." Hermione said. Ron just rolled his eyes at her and talked with Harry until they heard the door open and in came a person they have never seen before.

"Alright, listen up, Y'all. I'm Y'all's substitute teacher, Mr. Garvey. I taught school for 20 years in the inner city, so don't even think about messing with me. Y'all feel me?"

"Mhmm" says the class. Most of the students were in shock to see this new teacher.

"Okay, Let's take roll here." Mr. Garvey looks at the clipboard.

"H-EH-REE."

The class looks around the room confused at the name Mr. Garvey is saying

"Where is H-EH-REE at? No H-EH-REE here?"

Harry clears his throat and raises his hand

"Yeah" Mr. Garvey looks at Harry.

"Uhh, do you mean Harry?"

Mr. Garvey sets his clipboard down

"Okay. So that's how it's gonna be. Y'all wanna play." He puts his fists on the desk, then points to Harry.

"I've got my eye on you, H-EH-REE." He picks the clipboard back up

"HER-MY-ON, Where is HER-MY-ON at?"

The class looks around.

"There's no HER-MY-ON here today?"

Hermione raises her hand slowly

"Yes, Ma'am"

"My name's Hermione"

"Heh..." he sets the clipboad down again leans on his desk.

"Are you out of your GodDamn mind? {mocking voice} Hermione. What? Do you want to go to war, HER-MY-ON? "

"No" Hermione says

"Cause we could go to war."

"No"

"I'm for real. I'm for real. So, you better check yourself." He looks at the board again

"DRU-CO. Is there a DRU-CO?"

The class remains silent and Draco is shaking his head, thinking if he should correct Mr. Garvey.

"If one of Ya'll says some silly-ass name...This whole class is gonna feel my wrath. Now DRU-CO."

Draco raises his hand and says "Do you mean Draco?"

"SON OF A BITCH!" Mr. Garvey breaks the clipboard in half over his knee and the whole class flinches. He points to Draco

"You say your name right, right now."

"Draco?"

"Right"

"Draco"

"Correctly"

"Draco"

"Right"

"Draco"

"Right"

Draco is having enough of this so he gives in

"DRU-CO"

"That's better" Mr. Garvey does a bow

"Thank You" Mr. Garvey picks up the broken clipboard.

"Now, NER-V-EL-EL. Where are you? Where is NER-V-EL-EL right now?

Neville looks around and Harry looks at him with a look that says just answer him. But Neville shakes his head.

"No, NER-V-EL-EL, huh? Well, you better be Sick, Dead, or Mute, NER-V-EL-EL!"

"Here, oh man!" Neville says and raised his hand for a quick second then goes back to writing in his notebook.

Mr. Garvey looks at him with a 'YOU GOT TO JOKING RIGHT NOW' look

"Why, didn't you answer me the first time I said it, Huh?"

Neville looks up "Huh?" he puts his hand on his chin. Mr. Garvey walks closer to Neville

"You know, what I'm asking you. I said it, like, four times, so why didn't you say it the first time I said, NER-V-EL-EL?"

At this point Mr. Garvey is in Neville's face. Neville stalls.

"Because. It's Pronounced Neville."

"SON OF A BITCH!" Mr. Garvey turns around and pushes everything of the desk and Neville knows he's about to get in trouble. Mr. Garvey turns around and points at Neville.

"YOU DONE MESSED UP NER-V-EL-EL, NOW TAKE YOUR ASS DOWN TO DOM-BLU-DOR'S OFFICE RIGHT NOW AND TELL HIM EXCATLY WHAT YOU DID!"

"W..who?"

"DOM-BLU-DOR!"

"Professor Dumbledore?"

"GET OUT OF MY GODDAMN CLASSROOM BEFORE I BREAK MY FOOT OF IN YOUR ASS!"

Neville quickly gets out of his seat and runs out the door. Mr. Garvey turns back to the class

"INSUBORDINATE...and CHURLISH." The class remains silent while Mr. Garvey gets the clipboard again.

"TYM-OH-THEE."

A guy in the back of the classroom pops out with his hand raised

"Present"

"THANK YOU!"

The rest of potions class was done in complete silence since they were all afraid of Mr. Garvey's Wrath.

The next day

Everyone in that classroom was so glad Professor Snape was back the next day, even Ron who almost hugged him and told him to never leave again.

The end

 **PS I WANTED TO DO RONS NAME IN HERE BUT I COULDN'T THINK OF A DIFFERENT PROUNCINATION OF IT SO I LEFT IT OUT.**


End file.
